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Pilates in the park

October 5, 2014
Diana Pilates is totally at home doing pilates in the park

Mr Gran Canaria Local spends a lot of time on his desktop (hey, he’s old school like that). Like when he types up these blog posts for your viewing pleasure. Too much time sitting down can make him frown, so he was delighted to get out and about to research this week’s update.

Whilst the setting, Parque Doramas, is familiar; the activity, pilates, is anything but. Mr GCL may look the part, with his lycra top and snazzy trainers. But he hasn’t got a clue as to what he’s let himself in for.

He’s arranged to meet up with Diana Pilates who moved to Gran Canaria in the same year. The year in question’s 2004. Although it’s safe to assume that Diana’s burned more carbs in those 10 years than Mr Gran Canaria Local.

Whist his family are relaxing on Las Canteras beach, Mr GCL’s put through the motions. Just as with his InShape Factory workout, he discovers he’s less prepared than he thought he was. Here are three things Mr Gran Canaria Local learns from Diana Pilates.

  1. It’s p lattes not pi lates
  2. Pilates is an exact science
  3. He’s a big man but he’s out of shape

1. It’s p lattes not pi lates

We must confess, the pilates craze has largely passed us by. To the extent that we thought the Spanish and English pronounced this exercise routine differently. What with the Spanish tendency to say words more phonetically.

However, Lady Di makes us see the error of our ways. She also surprises us by revealing that there are different type of pilates. These are variations on the theme invented by this physical fitness method’s founding father, Joseph Pilates.

2. Pilates is an exact science

It’s awfully precise, is pilates. We lose count of the times Diana Pilates calls us out for not starting off in the right stance of feet placed firmly on the ground with knees slightly apart. Along with the times we’re told we’re not maintaining the stance.

Diana’s firm but fair. After her strict schoolmistress routine which sees Mr GCL feel like he’s returned to school, she’ll later concede that there are pilates positions professional dancers struggle to adopt. Before crushing Mr GCL’s restored ego with the revelation that the workout we’d just done was of the most basic level.

3. He’s a big man but he’s out of shape

We like to think we know you all well by now, so we’ll let you into a secret. At 16 years old, Mr GCL was a mere 5′ 2″ (1.57m) tall. Yet before he turned 17, he shot up to his current height of 6′ (1.83m).

When he was short, he never had a problem with his weight. But being taller has seen him have girth issues. Diana concedes that you’ll need to use pilates in combination with a healthy diet and weight training to truly attain the body beautiful.

But by the time Mr Gran Canaria Local finishes the workout, his stance is less buffalo although not quite as gazelle-graceful as his instructor’s. Bet she looks good on the dancefloor. It would also appear that Diana Pilates has made some impression on Mr GCL’s tabula rasa, if his new-found propensity to tense his abs and loosen his shoulders is anything to go by.